“Triggers” are things in our life which cause us to have our emotional levels heightened.
A journey into self-awareness will take us to the area of Emotional Triggers. “Triggers” are things in our life which cause us to have our emotional levels heightened. Counselors call this getting “activated”. In families, we often call them “buttons”. When a statement causes a repeated and negative response in you, someone may say “he pushed your button”.
We often have key triggers. Respect is a key trigger in many men. If something happens and you feel disrespected, you may responsively start to argue or shut down and then make a poorly thought out decision. Women can often have triggers around being valued and appreciated or heard over a key topic.
Managing triggers requires us to have a high level of self-awareness. We need to be able to predict and plan for the interactions that may activate us. We can prepare responses to keep our emotions down and our thinking clear. We stay clear in who we are, how a topic can trigger us, and be able to manage our self while interacting with others.
Think back to the last time you felt your trigger go off internally. What happened? What had just been said? How did you feel? Have you ever had that trigger off in you during similar emotional circumstances?
Once you have identified your core one or two triggers, here are steps to keep from losing emotional and mental energy in the future:
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Aware: Be very aware that you could go down a bad path. Stop before you start. Prepare for tough conversations.
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Balanced: Remember that you are more than this conversation and can stay self aware about the complete person you are.
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Curious: Ask about the meaning or idea behind the person’s statement before you spend any time pouring stress chemicals into your body via a stress reaction.
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Directional: Get to the core issue. What are you trying to accomplish in the discussion. Is your trigger going to keep you from accomplishing what you want to get done?
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Executional: Clearly state your direction and ask for help to brainstorm ideas to get to a new outcome. How else could you look at the situation? Pivot to a new perspective.
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Focused: Stay on course. Don’t let the emotions side track you to a course of action.
Self awareness leads to self management which leads to leading others and helping them become self aware. And the cycle continues.
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